I am also from South Africa and just came across your story (my bf is also a narc) and I am almost 20 weeks pregnant. Ive been put through the wringer the last 9 months. To turn the tables on a gaslighter, you want to communicate in a way that is clear, firm, and, most importantly, calm. How to Tame a Bad Boss: 8 Practical Techniques | CIO You can expect an outpour of affection and promises that they will change. this is cheating talk. It is clear from the beginning you knew this man was bad but I do believe at times we have a responsibility to ourselves and families to PROTECT them. Dont try to outwit or pay back, these things ( i refer to narcisists as the way they see us ) can be the most vengeful of all if they feel got at. I had no dating experience so I had no reference, my father wasnt in my life so I couldnt tell the different between love and abuse/ also coming from a community where emotional abuse was unheard of, I honestly felt trapped. I decided I had enough. I slowly lost myself in the relationship, my gut was Screaming something wasnt right about the relationship, but I didnt know better and I had no one to talk to, on other days Id convince myself he loved me, on other Id question if this is how love is suppose to feel.. A way to keep this guy hooked is to act unpredictably. Well she got very upset at me because i didnt have a tv and hadnt had time to give her the wifi code. For a gaslighter, just winning an argument isnt enough. Who are you? It would narc injure them to reveal such traits they hold. If ever I tried to RETURN the favor of compassion I was DENIED, leaving me to question was I wrong to return a favor? Im new to not trying to understand what Ive done to cause the long lonely nights. Of course, she didnt like this at all. so I take them out there One way 50 miles. I was in the recovery room for at least 6 months. What about other males/ females in the officeshe has probably done the same. Have found some helpfull organisations in Belgium who are seriously trained to proof thier wrong doing and save the victims from wrongdoings in the past under her manipulation? Five stars to you. When a gaslighter is messing with your head, it can be a very upsetting experience. Oh dear Peter..she really has mind f****d you. Just start hurting him to earn money and dont stop until you have purchased each and every single object to torture him and his stupid looking little moustach. Forget emails, IMs and textsgo for a face-to-face and push for actual meetings when you want to make yourself heard. You have value and purpose. The female narcissist I dealt with had all the classic approaches: She was infallible, thus could never be blamed all blame was attributed to others, myself or inanimate objects (Stupid washing machine didnt turn on! Somewhere you may have family. Gaslighters thrive on getting you riled up and playing with your feelings, and it often only makes the manipulation worse. 10 Signs a Girl With a Boyfriend Likes You. But NO one could help move them I was the only one. I dont want anything he has..all want is OUT! It takes time to get away, time to rebuild but when you are physically then emotionally distanced from the narcisist, you will feel stronger, and at peace. You started feeling out. He just described my relationship. As I got to know her more and more her true self became more apparent. When a narcissist wants to be friends with you- watch out- he is really engaged in obtaining Narcissistic Supply or you have something he values and he wants to have it remain available to him. For example, in that situation, you could respond with, That sounded like a put-down and wait for them to respond. Turn their tactics on them, so they get a taste of their own medicine. It looks like the most intelligent people are sending their children to such and such school or Gee, the best looking travelers all have [name brand] luggage. it will cause a narcissistic injury and threat to his grandiose self-perception. I have animals and need to find a place to take them because I know he would kill them to hurt me. If I had to go away for work, I was branded neglectful or she would scream abuse at me in front of my son to denegrate me as irresponsible if I was late in returning from work. she went to jail for 8 hrs and threw them at me and I didnt want to hold them but did and is claiming she didnt get into my wallet , because that wouldnt look good. I dont want.I told her I will glady send them to you when I find them IF i do . Finally though, I started to wake up when comparing notes with others and things werent adding up. My ex was a Scorpio narc. I have read so many books and articles on everything im criticized for only to lead me to conversations that I feel in a normal situation would easily be resolved or compromised. I was just going to ask the same question Gotthetshirt. He knows these and is imparting them because hes lived through the hell of them. At first it was attractive that he loved himself so much, always well groomed and smelling nice, everything was in place, he was a very goodlooking man.. until it became so extreme that Id find myself waiting for him as he wouldnt finish polishing himself. But she is also accusing me of stealing her necklace which I dont want and her tongue ring which really?? Lol! My story is too long to tell here but let me say just hide every extra penny that you can and get out!

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